Rain

Heavy afternoon, 2.45 p.m. Sitting behind my office desk, typing. Suddendly heavy raindrops smash on the ground. I turn off the music and open the nearest window to listen to it. Isn’t it just peaceful?

5.30 p.m. Raining for the second time today. I open the balcony doors and all the windows, lie down, close my eyes and get some rest. Bliss.

Light evening. Summer humidity was making it impossible to predict whether you’ll be able to catch your breath or not. Cycling was off today for that same reason. Perfect as well.

I stand up, my bare feet touch the ground and make gentle sounds as they move across the room. That’s all you can hear, no other sounds. Wide open the window and feel a soft blow of evening air. I stand by it for a couple of seconds, watching city lights and hearing cars looking for a parking spot. Someone just took their dog out for a walk.

Small but quick steps back to bed.

Sigh. I’ll leave the window open all night. I hope it rains again.

Train. Stations.

I like train stations. They’re so full of stories. And I don’t mean mushy wushy love stories, neither heart-breaking war stories. I mean all in between. Individual stories. The kind that you just don’t share. Not because they’d be too personal, but because once you’d try to put it into words, you just wouldn’t find a fit. It is about what you think, feel and sense when you’re sitting on the bench waiting for your turn.

You hear a train engine from the back. This one is leaving soon. You see young backpackers and students coming and leaving. They’re annoying - you either want to be in their place (travel, see the world) or just don’t like their world-is-mine attitude. You sense an old lady’s perfume. She is sitting close to you, holding on to her bags, looking around just to keep track of possible changes, registering trains coming in and out. You smell ol’ pap’s stinky cigar that he just wouldn’t finish. You feel the wind at the back of your neck, because the train stations are open enough for the wind to touch everything. You see a boy with his family, probably waiting for someone to arrive. You hear a young man’s music that he’s playing so loud. You kinda like it and your feet kinda tell. A couple of red train lights in the distance, only a select group of people know if they’re even in use. Ol’ pap just started a new cigar. He’s probably still holding on to the previous one, though. Rush hour is over, but you still hear traffic over those fences. Now you can separate individual noises. Some become thus more interesting, other more annoying.

Announcement rings. A woman’s voice. Broken English. Two trains are leaving on time, mine will be half an hour late. Can she see us while breaking the news?

It’s getting dark.

Ode to sleep. No. Ode to just enough sleep.

Yes, the world does look different, spicy or not, but a bit different when you haven’t had enough sleep. Clock turns ’round in a strange manner, eyesight may be blurred (but isn’t, of course; you wear glasses just as a precaution), coffee tastes more … more natural. Even though smell may be diverted, coffee is gold.

I’m actually jealous of those who are satisfied and fully-functional with only 5 to 6 hours of sleep per night. Not sure about how honest this notion is, but I’ll take it. They get 3 hours more of life – every day! My (and for others that meet me on a daily basis and interact with me) lucky number is 8. Seven is an »ok«, but under several conditions:

• 8,5+ hours of sleep one night before OR 8 hours of sleep two previous nights (in a row).
• No extremely-high-level of concentration and/or physical activity is required on that day (yes, that means going to work by car).
• No under 15°C expected on the next day. Too challenging.
• Be home from 20h on the next day. Chances are I’ll need a blanket within one hour after that time. Don’t ask.
• A great deal of bearing the fact that I only had 7 hours of sleep would be forgetting that same fact. In most cases this isn’t feasible.

Two 7-hour-sleep nights in a row are negotiable:

• Above-average health condition (nothing extreme, though).
• No PMS.

Do not try this at home, but 3+ less-than-7-hour-sleep nights in a row are a stretch, even if these conditions are met:

• The fourth day (one that follows after the three days) is a weekend day. Preferably a Saturday.
• Extreme health conditions – this includes a prior every-other-day 14-day 2-hour workout and healthy eating habits.
• Plus all of the above mentioned. But of course.

You know I’m kiddin’, right? Or am I … ?

Inner dialogue

“How do you describe a feeling?”

“Do you need to?”

“It keeps changing.”

“You need balance.”

“I’m sleepy.”

“You’re tired.”

“From what?”

“From all the feelings.”

“How?”

“Some feelings give you all the energy in the world, other take all you have. Worst are those that bring both.”

“What should I do? Do I try to get rid of it?”

“Try? If you try, you may fail. You can only do things.”

“My thoughts wander.”

“Let them. They always find a place to fall asleep.”

“They manipulate me. Sometimes I manipulate them. But I never keep score. I know I’m winning.”

“Don’t race. Anything in your life. Set it free. Things and people … they will come to you. You’ll find your place to get rest. You always do. Each and every time …”

…

Decision at its best

Choosing between two great things is actually not that amusing. Let’s skip the part when we have to state that it’s better than choosing between two bad things. And the fact that you do have to make a choice. Let’s also skip the part when you say “go with the inner feeling”. It’s two equally exciting great things, remember? Your inner feeling goes towards one today, but towards the other one tomorrow. That’s not really helpful now, is it? So how do you decide?

To state the problem at all (I haven’t yet, I know, don’t bug me) – la decisión (heck, I know it ain’t right but I’m leavin’ it that way) will have a … uhmm … great impact on future events. Both options are exciting and enjoyable, both bring what I desire, but I have to give up one of them. That’s it! That’s what it’s actually about. It’s about giving up one great thing. Something I’ve longed for for several years or something I’m so very grateful for and satisfied with since the very beginning, something I now feel fits naturally. And now we’re coming to the part when we realize making a decision is not that pleasant, aren’t we?

What if the decision depends on whether you make it on the odd or even day? That would be the same as counting flower petals to the very last one. You keep pulling them and wonder what faith has in store for you. And when the one before the last petal falls on the ground, are you willing to give it up? Change your mind and ask yourself that same question. Compare the two.

Or what was that song again? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe …

P.S.: No, it’s not about a boy.

Once upon a time …

You’re probably familiar with things sometimes going JUST WRONG (I feel you, sister/bro). When it all starts you don’t even notice. And as soon as you notice, you (at least I) try to deny it. But when it all ends, there’s no going back. Hits you in the face.

So here’s a nice freakin’ example of why there’s insistence and why there’s rebellion – as if it really needs explanation. But I don’t care. Anywho, here goes:

Fairy tale title:

Insistence and Rebellion

Once upon a time there were two kinds of human reactions - Insistence and Rebellion. This is a story of why sometimes one wins and another times the same one looses.

INSISTENCE IS going cycling when you know/sense (your pick) that …

1. … the weather forecast is »pouring rain with a 100% chance of additional rain«. So no sun-painted skin lines. Most likely also no dry clothes or hair in the end.
2. … the only bike available can qualify for a tractor (since your regular one is 60 km away). No, really. You could plough a field with it. Meaning you will have to put 3 times the energy you’re used to just to make it. No high speeding this time.
3. … the bike seat is rock solid and it actually causes tears running down your cheeks; you do get up and push the pedals for a while, but then you realize you can’t decide what’s worse.
4. … clothes you get to wear are a simple cotton tracksuit (again, the real deal is 60 km away) – this not only means that you’ll get all of it sweaty, but also cold since sweaty t-shirt and wind don’t like each other. Also, you get heavier with every litre you loose. Not loose, so to speak.
5. … wind is blowing all directions but always in your face. There and back.
6. … the person cycling along will be pushing you to go faster. Way too much.
7. … the route you’re about to hit is just a wee bit demanding than your regular one. But once you face it, it’s actually pretty darn worse.
8. … you forgot your MP3 player (60 km away, remember?)
9. … missing your cycling helmet causes you to feel unprotected and thinking something might happen the one day you don’t have it on.
10. … you will have to do the same route the next day just to achieve weekly average.

REBELLION IS … refusing to go the next day for the same freaking reasons!!! I mean – COME ON!!

The end.

Lesson for today: pancakes!

1. they make a funny sound during the making - kind of like “wave your hands like you just don’t care”
2. the missing egg makes no difference (except for the color; so lame)
3. if you make only 2 pancakes one can turn out delicious, the other one … well … let’s just say looking like a big cookie (and that’s all I’m gonna say)
4. milk goes with the ingredients, but not with eating (why, oh why)
5. jam that was miserably sitting in the fridge for the past year (time elapsed since the last pancake-making) is actually still edible

Goshdarnit.

Another unique error page. Way too cool.

As seen on http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins.

Love it. Go Matt!

Google

Google bans me (see picture below) once for a couple of minutes (unfairly, but of course) and I go all blank. Bueeee …

OMG, it’s the small things …

… like this one …

I heart bike.

Biking, to be exact.
Here’s why:

• for the freshly cut grass you smell at the same spot every time; manure as well, but you filter that out
• for the sweat running down your legs that makes you need to scratch them
• for the will you realize you have when you go less than 10 km/h up the hill, but you still make it to the top. every time.
• for the stop you make before you turn back home
• for the rush of life you get when you go more than 30 km/h
• for when you try to scratch your head but hit the helmet instead
• for the water splash over your face to refresh a bit; the sun and wind will dry up the wet t-shirt - something you didn’t really think of before …
• for the adrenaline that pumps your blood when you race more than 50 km/h downhill
• for when it starts raining right after you’ve returned and showered
• for when the rain does get you and you realize it’s even better
• for the energy you squeeze in with the last couple of km
• for the woozy wobbly legs you have when you get off the bike
• for the lines the sun makes to mark your shorts on the legs and t-shirt on the arms; not pretty, but who cares.

And what do you heart?

Viamichelin.com - me likey!

As the biking season is at the peak, it really comes in handy if you can get some suggestions for biking routes. A colleague of mine suggested I pedal my way from Ljubljana to Kamniška Bistrica. My reaction: “I want to go to there …”* If I drove there by car with no directions (though I’d need some, believe you me) I’d find my way around. Somehow. But I’d rather not hit the road on a bike and suddenly find myself on a highway … . Yes, that is possible.

Should you book your face?

Some people who by some freakishly small chance aren’t yet exposing their face and information on facebook, have been asking me whether they should start doing so and what the benefits are. Clearly we are talking either about have-to-be-basic-user generation or smart still-offline-and-liking-it people who only have one e-mail address (and not 23 out of which 13 are forgotten having ever been created and 5 cannot be accessed due to forgotten password, forgotten reminder question and forgotten secondary e-mail address for sending the password in such cases). Where was I? Swell, now I have to go back. You too, probably.

So these people keep hearing and receiving facebook news feeds offline and I guess after a while they started wondering whether they are missing something. My answer (finally) to their question would be: Hell no! Run away from it as far as you can (or just unplug internet from your computer). There’s several things you can do to avoid temptation to join facebook:

• Create a filter in your e-mail account to mark all facebook invitations as spam. You really don’t need friends’ invitations that are actually 90% automated and pushed.
• Block facebook website in your browser as unwanted or explicit content.
• Do not click on the facebook logo in this post.
• Don’t get talked into it by a hooked friend that you just met after several months or years saying (s)he was looking for you on facebook and it’s (almost) your fault you haven’t been in touch for so long. What the heck happened to snail mail? Ok, ok, I’m exaggerating. What the heck happened to google-ing someone to find his/her e-mail address? Do some research, won’t you? Gosh!

So that’s for the part called “I don’t want to be a part of the facebook community and I don’t freakin’ need to list my reasons”. Now for the plus side. Let’s see … Well … Uhm … I mean .. yeah .. you do have some fun with it. The first two weeks. I don’t think that’s the best argument I have. I guess you kinda do keep in contact with people you either see every day anyway and install updates for friends you haven’t seen in years. Now this depends on what kind of updates you want or expect and what your connected friends have to offer. This is what you might run into with status updates:

• John Doe is watching TV.
• John Doe is sleeping.
• John Doe is having lunch.

Not really your cup of tea? I bet. How about this:

• Mary Something wants an ice cream.
• Mary Something likes the sunny weather.
• Mary Something is all happy.

Mary’s status updates stand a good chance to receive a lot of ‘likes’ or comments. Which gives me an idea of what people want and look for on facebook. Nice things, good news (and yes, even though no one would admit, bad as well).

The third category of status updates is more innovative, still not necessarily interesting.

The fourth category is somewhat undefined. It includes status updates that aren’t making any sense to the readers (only to the one who posted it, maybe one person more than that), statuses that reveal people’s tendency to inform everybody of nothing but their success stories (don’t we just hate that?), statuses that provoke comments and status ads. So it’s a mixture of everything.

All in all, statuses do give us one thing - a picture of the person posting them. I dare say a pretty darn accurate picture. Therefore, tell me what your status updates say and I’ll tell you who you are.

I won’t even go close to facebook applications, groups, quizes, schmizes and other time-consuming if-at-least-results-were-true clickings.

But in the end, even though I’m more than obviously suggesting facebook isn’t recommendable, I am on facebook and I’m hooked. But give me some credit for admitting it.

I’m a vampire

You can start reading, I won’t bite your neck with sharp teeth. I don’t have sharp teeth.

The reason why internet/computer geeks are vampires is our vulnerability to sunlight. Think of a person you know (you can admit to yourself it’s also you - totally your decision) who is passionate about internet/computer-related business or just spends a minimum of 10 hours a day on meaningless facebooking and F5-ing 3 different inboxes. Does he/she have an office with big windows (thanks for the association, Gates, I really don’t need it) that provides loads of sun rays, bird singing and fresh air? Ctrl+F

Searching … searching … not found.

Usually, their office is small (if one person), but definitely dark and barely provides oxygen. That’s why they (ok, myself included) have pale skin, some start wearing glasses (ok, ok! I’ll sign my name with this, sheesh!), work at night and sleep during the day and forget which hand needs to pick up a pen to type … oh, sorry … write down something

Actually, we don’t like direct light just because computer screen doesn’t stand it and we can’t work not seeing what’s on the screen.

I love sunlight.

Now let me see what’s that on your neck …

I wish I was a dentist

Image via Wikipedia

There’s this one slightly annoying(-ish) thing about being a computer/internet geek. You keep getting questions.

THE QUESTIONS

• “Why is my internet so slow?” (heck if I know)

• “My computer is running really slow. Can you take a look?” (oh yeah, I can’t wait :))

• “My computer just froze!” (sometimes there’s some hair pulling; not mine, that is)

• “My computer says I have a trojan virus, so I deleted the suggested files. So why is my computer saying ‘no operating system found’? (here it comes the first time: Why are you using Windows?)

• “Why is there a system32 pop-up window every time a start my computer?” (that’s the short version. Here’s the full: Why is there something showing up every time I open (oh, really?) my computer, it’s so annoying, I have to confirm it every time. It says something about some system, I have no idea what it is.)

And my personal favorite:

• “Where is all the stuff I just wrote? I didn’t do anything, the computer just freaked out.” (and here come desperate pleas for recovering the lost data)

THE ANSWERS

• My most useless answer to all the questions would be (here comes the second time): “Get rid of Windows.” (ain’t I a Mac?)
  

• My a bit less useless (hm?) answer would be: “If it’s still working then you’re fine.” (ain’t I lazy?)

• Still, my most often answer is: “Let’s take a look.” (ain’t I soft?)

I wish I was a dentist. I bet people don’t just open their mouth and say “Can you take a look?”.